Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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