Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize