This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
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No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
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struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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