There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize