Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize