no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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