I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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