Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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