What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize