Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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