I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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