You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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