I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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