4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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