My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I had to cum in my sink.
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