matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize