I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize