Can i not drive my cunt home
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize