Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
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The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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