Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
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It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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