I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
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ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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