i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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