We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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