i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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