you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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