if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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