Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize