just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
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He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
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She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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