Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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