I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a dumb baby whore.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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