the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
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FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
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He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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