the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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