Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache

(225): View more from Louisiana

You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice

(504): View more from Louisiana

Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?

(225): View more from Louisiana

I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....

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(504): Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache (225): You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice (504): Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time? (225): I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz.... http://tfl.nu/t0ng

Replies (4) Good night (1308) Bad night (567)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML

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(202): i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML http://tfl.nu/7ngy

Replies (4) Good night (1031) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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(810): View more from Michigan

I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.

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(810): I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages. http://tfl.nu/0oct

Replies (4) Good night (1457) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"

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(815): I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck" http://tfl.nu/5odg

Replies (27) Good night (3788) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.

(716): View more from New York

i dont this its possible to queef on command.

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(630): bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face. (716): i dont this its possible to queef on command. http://tfl.nu/u9ov

Replies (90) Good night (828) Bad night (2773)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you mean i was at the winter classic?

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(617): you mean i was at the winter classic? http://tfl.nu/ck5g

Replies (39) Good night (5250) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...

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(630): you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling... http://tfl.nu/h6kn

Replies (38) Good night (933) Bad night (3744) Order T-Shirt
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(910): View more from North Carolina

He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.

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(910): He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever. http://tfl.nu/jw7m

Replies (26) Good night (5762) Bad night (1231) Order T-Shirt
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(973): View more from New Jersey

when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.

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(973): when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this. http://tfl.nu/c6uc

Replies (17) Good night (1382) Bad night (4399) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho

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(314): Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho http://tfl.nu/t3tj

Replies (11) Good night (3777) Bad night (1108) Order T-Shirt
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(330): View more from Ohio

I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child

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(330): I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child http://tfl.nu/htew

Replies (8) Good night (1820) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.

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(403): Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over. http://tfl.nu/puou

Replies (9) Good night (2181) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.

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(901): Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic. http://tfl.nu/8z3j

Replies (7) Good night (2333) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift

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(415): Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift http://tfl.nu/8l3h

Replies (7) Good night (1077) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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(518): View more from New York

Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.

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(518): Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered. http://tfl.nu/cv8i

Replies (3) Good night (291) Bad night (550)

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