Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
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Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
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I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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