I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize