Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Randomize