this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So much Jack, so little girl.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize