Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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