But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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