After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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