singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
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we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
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I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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