Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize