Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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