Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
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how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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