so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
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the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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