It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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