i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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