yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize