If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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