He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize